As you all know, life has been so outta control crazee lately. I opened the store about 6 weeks ago, Shane and I bought a house about 3 weeks ago, we will close on the house in about 3 weeks and we will be getting married in 5 weeks. I have definately definately taken on too much.
I feel like things are so completely outta control right now. If anyone knows me, I do not like NOT having control. I know that God has done all that he is doing to me right now to teach me and mold me into the person that he wants me to be. But, it is not the easiest process to say the least. I am not complaining about everything, okay maybe I am a little, but i know that all that is happening is all blessings. I know that these life changes are good ones. Still, it is hard and overwhelming and confusing and causing me to feel so many emotions that I didn't even know existed.
I am thinking of all of the regrets that I have with relationships near and dear to me. I am thinking of the influence that my parents have had over me during this life of mine. I am hoping that they are proud. I am hoping that they are ready to give me away. I am hoping that they can hold it together. I am hoping that I can hold it together. I am thinking how much I will miss the life of being their baby girl. Now, I am becoming someone else's. I am thinking of my baby bros. I am remembering all of those nights all three cuddled up in bed together watching movies. I am remembering all of the Christmas mornings and Christmas Eve nights. I am thinking that I am not ready to say good bye to all of that. I am thinking of my brothers' wives and who God has waiting for them. Wondering/Praying that it will be as amazing as what i have with Shane.
I am thinking of this guy, my best friend, who I will soon be married to. Thinking of the ups and downs, and all the way arounds. I keep thinking of what I'll say to him at the altar. I keep thinking that I want to be a spiritual, godly wife. I want to be able to take care of him, support him, and love him even half as much as he has for me. I am thinking that I don't want to make any mistakes whatsoever in our marriage. I know that is unrealistic but I do not want to screw things up.
I am thinking about God. I am thinking about my relationship with God, where I have been, where I will go, where I am now (not happy about that place). I am thinking about how badly I wanted to perfect my relationship with God before my wedding. I am thinking about how I wanted it to be at its strongest place before I was married. I know that that is definately not the case. My relationship with the Big Man needs a lil work, to say the least. But, God does know my heart and I know he knows I yearn for his presence and will in my life.
I am thinking about my friends. God those people. I am thinking that I don't want anything to change between us just because I am married. I am thinking how much they have been there for me since the age of 5 and this year especially. Thinking of the old days and that I will never be that single girl again. Thinking of those people who have shaped me and supported me and loved me no matter what.
I am thinking of the wedding. God i hope it's perfect. It feels like so much blood, heart, sweat, and tears has gone into this day. I want it to be filled with personal touches. I want people to leave taking a little piece of me and Shane with them. I want people to dance and have a good ole time. I want people to see just how much we love each other.
I just want to get through the next 5 weeks without falling to pieces. I just want to do it all right. I just don't want to mess things up. I want to hold it all together. I want it all to be perfect, no regrets. I also wanna soak it up and remember it because I will never get it back and after this part of my life, I will never be the same.
Sorry for the rambling. I hate that I got so personal but I just needed to get it out! I am blessed and I thank the Lord for all that he is giving me.
In other news, I am in desperate and i mean desperate need of a 6am run. I know..i know...it sounds stupid and crazy but it is so true. I need a run right when the sun is rising...a run outside on the good ole blacktop so i can sweat like a pig...a run where it's just me and the ipod...a run where i can clear my head and release some good ole endorphines. I just need a 6am run and I think that i will go for one tomorrow morning!
I am super excited to mention...and you darn right i'm mentioning it because i'm proud of myself..that i have lost 8 pounds. Now, you can't really tell from looking at me but I have. I have been doing weight watchers and sticking to it and when I weighed myself on Sunday i was down 3 more pounds which makes 8 in the last three weeks. Yahooooo! I'm super pumped..now, if i could just get back on some sort of running schedule.
I have the kids tomorrow. I know I should be here at the store working with only 6days till we open, but, Kasi called and I had to say yes. I really wanna see them and I really just wanna spend some quality time with the little munchkins...it's been a while.
I have been at the store constantly and I am so nervous about the grand opening. I have worked so hard and I want it to be a success so badly. I hope it is perfect and everyone comes in and shops and has a great time.
Well, I do realize this post was a lil skitzo-frenic (yes i know that's not the correct spelling but who cares)! Just wanted to post to my own personal blog. Make sure ya'll check the store's blog too! www.inspirescrapboutique.blogspot.com
Talk to you guys as soon as i can!
Talk to you soon, hopefully!
It was a strange feeling.
The weirdest things have been impacting me about getting married.
I am nervous, scared, thrilled, elated, and overwhelmed.
Today...I bought a wedding band for my soulmate and I can't wait to put it on that very special finger!
It is so funny because Maw Maw has given her recipe to all of our parents and they have all tried to cook it but it just doesn't taste the same as Maw Maw's!
Well, that was a fun little post. Just a little tidbit about my life that I wanted to share.
Much love! ash
Man i am obsessed with the way he uses the light. I love the sun blasting through. He is the bomb diggity. Talk to you guys soon!
Yes, it will be called Inspire A Scrapbook Boutique. It will be located down Laura Drive in Thibodaux. It is in a little shopping center across from Anytime Fitness...next to the new Capital One Drive Thru bank. I will be opening somewhere around the first of September. I am planning what I hope to be a fabulous grand opening event. I am trying to line up a great teacher. I will definatley keep you posted. If you were a customer of Scrapalicious, you will be receiving information by e-mail/mail. I am working on getting a blog for the store and will also keep you updated with that! Here is the e-mail address for the store, firstname.lastname@example.org. If you are not sure if your info is stored at Scrapalicious, e-mail me here and I will send you updates. I hope that you are all excited and I hope that you are all ready to shop and scrap!
I am thrilled, scared, nervous, at peace, confused, overwhelmed, and lovin all of it!!!! I hope I can bring some inspiration to you all through the new store! Thanks for the support! If you are not supportive......who gives a hoot :)
Much love, Ash**
Ugh messing around with the pics makes me want to cry! I want to go back soooooooo BAD. i pretty much just pretended that I was in high school with absolutely NO responsibilities the entire time that I was there! It was lovely! Thanks to all my podnas for everything that they did to make the trip awesome. Thanks for all of the gifts and surprises too! I love ya'll more than words!
Well blog world! I shall return shortly with an important post!!!!
Engagement pics with this guy...Mr. Clint Shuttlesworth
Lots of goofing off on the way home and in our pics...can't wait for you to see them.
Lots of quality time with my LuLu!
Celebrated my 24th birthday...
Been spending extra time at my parents' house...
Nursing this little poota back to health....she has an ear infection and like little hives on her skin that are making her itch like crazy
1. I am supposed to be eating super duper healthy ALL THE TIME and running 5-6 times a week. Let me mention that I enjoy eating healthy, running, and losing weight. However, right now, I am eating ice cream. The sad part of that is that I don't even like ice cream all that much. I just COULD NOT take another piece of chicken, vegetable, fruit, wheat bread, or anthing else healthy. Also, I only ran twice so far this week and we are on day number 4.
2. I have not been so happy lately. I have little fits of sadness, anger, and just plain old bad moodiness. I am not even apologizing about not being happy lately. I haven't even been trying to fake it. I feel like, you know what, I am not that happy, I am not hiding it, it will pass, and I will be back to normal soon.
3. I have issues. You know, issues, just like everyone else. I like my issues. They remind me that I am real and very, NORMAL.
4. Although I take pride in my apartment being very clean, i never make my bed, unless people are coming over. I mean what's the point. I am just going to hop right back into it again and mess up all of those decorative pillows and that perfect folding.
5. I don't have a savings account. I don't even want to open one because I don't want to feel more guilty about not saving money. I LIKE blowing my money on clothes and shoes. Heck, I LOVE blowing my money. I am getting married soon and I should be saving, but I'm not and I do not want to.
6. I am not looking forward to living with another person. I am actually kinda freaking out about it. I like my own space. I like coming and going as i please. I like just living alone. I do not want to give up the feeling of independance and taking care of myself.
7. WEDDING PLANNING SUCKS!!! I don't care what any little happy brides tell you. IT SUCKS. I have found little enjoyment from it and I cringe when i have an appointment to deal with any of the wedding stuff.
8. Scrapbooking does not make me happy lately. I have attempted it a few times since i have been done with school but it feels like a job, a chore, a task. It does not feel like a hobby or any type of enjoyment. It makes me sad. It also makes me wonder where this change in my love love love for all things creative took place. I hope that it passes and I hope that i begin to LOVE scrapping again soon.
9. I am extremely terrible at trusting God. I have gotten better in the last year but I am still not so hot at it. You see, God gave me a very clear word about my future. I didn't listen and just did my own thing. I was scared to just let go and trust him and I went with what I thought was the more realistic and safe choice. I paid for it big time. I know that now that school is over and I have the opportunity to change things, I need to let go and trust, but I suck at it. Only God can help me with this one.
10. I get physically ill, i mean literally, physically ill when I think about ever teaching again.
Well, there you have it. That was me being VERY VERY honest. That was the imperfect parts of my life. That was very hard to do because I feel like i will be judged. i feel like people will take these 10 statements and totally change their minds about me. I feel like people will try to act like they never have any of these thoughts or feelings. On the other hand, these statements may help others to let out a sigh of relief that they are not the only ones whose lives, brains, and feelings are not totally perfect. I hope that these statements make other people realize that it is okay, great, and even impowering to reveal your imperfections.
Here is the other side of my imperfect life:
I have the absolute BEST people by my side. My parents love me no matter what, my brothers are amazing and some of my best friends, my fiance is gorgeous and supportive and loving. My friends are ridiculous. They tell me to say **** IT! They keep me laughing and focusing on the positive. My God is always there. He is keeping me strong, alive, and healthy. He is my rock, my friend, and my comfort. I have an amazing wedding to look forward to, a world of career possibilities open to me, and a roof over my head and food in the fridge. I am blessed. I am imperfect and blessed.
So guys, I challenge you to open up and reveal your dark side. Tell us about your imperfections and quit acting so perfect and happy :) ! It will feel freeing and liberating.
Hope you guys have a great day!
The camera to the right is the one that I purchased. I have been having the others.
So all of this new stuff had me wanting to make a few updates to my studio. I didn't do anything big. Just added a strip of pictures to a wall, moved a couple of things around and added the milk crate. I also added a clipboard that I made at the event. Here is what the refresher looks like.
I also added a couple of little touches of vintage around the place.
I updated my inspiration board and just kind of put some new little touches around the room. It just helps to surge a little more inspiration into my being. Nothing dramatic, just a few little changes.
Here are the only two projects that I completed at the event.
I spent more time getting to know some of the people and shopping around of course. I also found out that I have some fans and blog followers. That really pumped me up!! I felt so honored that people actually enjoy reading my blog. Okay guys I am heading home to watch Tori and Dean...gotta love reality TV! Enjoy your week!
PS..sorry the picture quality isn't so great...they are from my phone!
So, there you have it, a little peek into our trip. I'm telling you we are like a new couple. It was so great to just hang out with my best friend again. Anyways, I have some more updates to post. I will be back in a bit with another post for ya. I'm headed outta here to grab a bite to eat and I will be back! Peace out Podnas!