The Beauty of Imperfection

So, first let me start by apologizing for bein MIA for so long. The only excuse i have is that I have been busy, as usual. I often read Stephanie Howell's blog. She is a very talented scrapper who designs for a few different companies and teams. Today, she posted about imperfection and its beauty and how inspiring it can be. She talked about how, in the creative world, most of the women involved are always posting on their blogs about how perfect their lives are. She posted about how those women rarely talk about anything bad in their lives. She said those women always paint a perfect picture of their lives. So, today, she posted her imperfections and the imperfect things about her lives. She also said that some of her other friends are doing the same. She challenged everyone else to post their imperfections too. So, here goes, here are my imperfections:

1. I am supposed to be eating super duper healthy ALL THE TIME and running 5-6 times a week. Let me mention that I enjoy eating healthy, running, and losing weight. However, right now, I am eating ice cream. The sad part of that is that I don't even like ice cream all that much. I just COULD NOT take another piece of chicken, vegetable, fruit, wheat bread, or anthing else healthy. Also, I only ran twice so far this week and we are on day number 4.

2. I have not been so happy lately. I have little fits of sadness, anger, and just plain old bad moodiness. I am not even apologizing about not being happy lately. I haven't even been trying to fake it. I feel like, you know what, I am not that happy, I am not hiding it, it will pass, and I will be back to normal soon.

3. I have issues. You know, issues, just like everyone else. I like my issues. They remind me that I am real and very, NORMAL.

4. Although I take pride in my apartment being very clean, i never make my bed, unless people are coming over. I mean what's the point. I am just going to hop right back into it again and mess up all of those decorative pillows and that perfect folding.

5. I don't have a savings account. I don't even want to open one because I don't want to feel more guilty about not saving money. I LIKE blowing my money on clothes and shoes. Heck, I LOVE blowing my money. I am getting married soon and I should be saving, but I'm not and I do not want to.

6. I am not looking forward to living with another person. I am actually kinda freaking out about it. I like my own space. I like coming and going as i please. I like just living alone. I do not want to give up the feeling of independance and taking care of myself.

7. WEDDING PLANNING SUCKS!!! I don't care what any little happy brides tell you. IT SUCKS. I have found little enjoyment from it and I cringe when i have an appointment to deal with any of the wedding stuff.

8. Scrapbooking does not make me happy lately. I have attempted it a few times since i have been done with school but it feels like a job, a chore, a task. It does not feel like a hobby or any type of enjoyment. It makes me sad. It also makes me wonder where this change in my love love love for all things creative took place. I hope that it passes and I hope that i begin to LOVE scrapping again soon.

9. I am extremely terrible at trusting God. I have gotten better in the last year but I am still not so hot at it. You see, God gave me a very clear word about my future. I didn't listen and just did my own thing. I was scared to just let go and trust him and I went with what I thought was the more realistic and safe choice. I paid for it big time. I know that now that school is over and I have the opportunity to change things, I need to let go and trust, but I suck at it. Only God can help me with this one.

10. I get physically ill, i mean literally, physically ill when I think about ever teaching again.

Well, there you have it. That was me being VERY VERY honest. That was the imperfect parts of my life. That was very hard to do because I feel like i will be judged. i feel like people will take these 10 statements and totally change their minds about me. I feel like people will try to act like they never have any of these thoughts or feelings. On the other hand, these statements may help others to let out a sigh of relief that they are not the only ones whose lives, brains, and feelings are not totally perfect. I hope that these statements make other people realize that it is okay, great, and even impowering to reveal your imperfections.

Here is the other side of my imperfect life:
I have the absolute BEST people by my side. My parents love me no matter what, my brothers are amazing and some of my best friends, my fiance is gorgeous and supportive and loving. My friends are ridiculous. They tell me to say **** IT! They keep me laughing and focusing on the positive. My God is always there. He is keeping me strong, alive, and healthy. He is my rock, my friend, and my comfort. I have an amazing wedding to look forward to, a world of career possibilities open to me, and a roof over my head and food in the fridge. I am blessed. I am imperfect and blessed.

So guys, I challenge you to open up and reveal your dark side. Tell us about your imperfections and quit acting so perfect and happy :) ! It will feel freeing and liberating.

Hope you guys have a great day!
Muah!