6 weeks in..

WARNING: This post is way too personal but I'm just in one of those moods!

We are six weeks into this thing called marriage.


It feels much longer and I don't mean that in a negative way.

It is fun. It is hard. It is different from my normal.


It makes me smile when I see your stuff lying around the apartment because I know we share the same home now.




Then, in that same breath, it drives me nuts when your stuff is scattered around the apartment.

I love waking up to your face, in those rare moments when I do. It feels safe and comfortable and peaceful.


I absolutely can not stand the fact that now that we are married you have decided to take up snoring. When we were dating, you did not snore. Then love how when I tell you to turn over after hearing you cutting logs for 3 hours, you act annoyed. So sorry to bother you! :)



Love cooking dinner and seeing how happy it makes you to have a home cooked meal. Love sitting together with the candles lit and the table set all cute and pretty and eating dinner together. It feels like we are family. It feels like the beginning of something wonderful.
Not the biggest fan of working all day and then coming home to spend hours in the kitchen, first cooking and then cleaning up after eating. That will definately take a while to grow on me.


Love how you just transitioned so easily into this marriage thing and this living together thing. Love that you are on cloud 9 and just love all of these HUGE changes. Know that it is an adjustment for me. It is rough for an independant girl who lived alone for a while and who is sort of a control freak and who is OCD about cleanliness and things having their place and who likes things uh em HER WAY to just change all that overnight. It is taking me a little longer to adjust and to become adapted. And I am realizing that that is OKAY.




Hate that you work soooo much. And then, Sometimes, when you are on my nerves, all I can think is GOD, GO TO WORK. :) Love that you put up with me. Love that you get so aggravated with me sometimes that I know you wanna just throw me out the upper story window. He! Love how you went from cringing when you heard the word marriage to itching to be married, to jumping off the stairs of the plantation after you "kissed the bride" cause you were so ready for those words.

Love how, after a year of dating, I was ready for my engagement ring. Love how the entire year we were engaged, all I could think was, I'm too young, I'm still a baby.



Love how we are in this together. Know that we are in this together. Know that marriage is work and it is hard and it doesn't just happen. Know that we both have to give and give and give. Know that God did not intend this to be something that we take for granted. Love knowing that all of these emotions are normal. They are. They are the beautiful feelings that make up the heart of a married woman. They are the feelings that I cling to. The ones that make me cry, break my heart, make me laugh, and bring me joy. I love knowing that we are making up our own rules. We are doing it the way that works for us. We are going at our own pace. We are fighting and laughing and talking and being quiet and still. I know that this was ordained by God. I know that you are my best friend. I know that I wouldn't have it any other way.


Love you boo boo! I'm in it till wrinkles and beyond!

Why I love her being around!

Because I love seeing this lying around the apartment:


Because I love putting her hair in piggie tails:



Because I love seeing her play with all of my old toys and loving them up as much as I used to:



Because she reads Pinkalicious over and over again and let's face it, that book is the BOMB:



Because Shane and I love getting her all dressed and bringing her out for lunch:


Because now I get to bring her get her nails painted everytime she comes over:




Because she's dramatic and crazy and silly and beautiful and perfect. Because she adds so much joy to my life. Because I take my job as Nannie very seriously. Because I hope to always be this close to her and I hope she always knows she can come to me no matter what.




I love having her around because she is her and I love her...big as the sky!

2011 is my new boo!

Hey peeps! So far, I did 2011. I really do. I feel like a new lady. It has been so peaceful and fun and happy around my life these past 6 days. Hey, whoever said being selfish will get you no where was very wrong.


As you know, my word is ME for the year! Well, here's what I have done to work towards my word so far:

1. got a mani and a pedi (i really did need one..shane said so)
2. had dinner with friends when i was supposed to be home cooking
3. did something super romantic and sweet for me and the hubby
4. almost finished reading one of my books
5. signed up for the CCL cropping event in Baton Rouge this weekend (there are millions of things i should be at home doing but...it's all about what i WANT to do this year and hey..i wanna crop)
6. joined a book club with some amazing ladies
7. spent QT with my gorgeous godchild
8. paid for a month of tanning (not the smartest way to spend money)
9. stuck to my weight watchers religiously so far (hey i think doing that for 6 days is AWESOME..i would have normally cheated by now)
10. journaled and took a pic every single day


Yes oh yes that is a glorious list that makes me happy! I find that the fact that I am so freely living my life for me is making me so much more pleasant and in turn making others more pleasant too! Hey you know what they say, happy wife, happy life! LOL!

I hope you are all having a great week! Have an awesome weekend!
Do something you WANNA do!

aSh

2011

Hey ya'll. Yes, I know, I haven't kept up my blog at all! This year I am definately going to try and do a better job of keeping this blog up. Afterall, I love blogging! So, I'm married now, and getting used to the married life. The wedding was amazing and an absolute dream come true. The honeymoon was a blast!!

As I have said on the store's blog, I am not usually a fan of New Year's resolutions and all of the other hoopla that involves new beginnings and fresh starts at New Year's. However, this year, I am totally embracing the New Year and all of that hoopla. I don't know why but I think it's just because I am in the need for a fresh start.

I am participating in One Little Word for 2011. If you don't know about One Little Word, you can read about it on Ali Edwards' blog at www.aliedwards.com.

After looking through all of the words, I narrowed it down to a few. Here were the frontrunners:

be, deeper, do, document, embrace, family, I, invest, me, nurture, reconnect, rediscover, self, wellness

After not too much thought and consideration. Here is what I picked:


Yes, I chose the word: ME!

It may sound very selfish but it is oh so necessary in my life, you just don't know. Just a brief insight on why I chose it, without getting too personal:

The last three years of my life have been quite chaotic. I feel like the last few years have been all about everyone else in my life. I have been living to please others. I have also been so crazy busy with situations that were not my choosing and I lost a lot of myself. I am tired of that and I am ready to focus on ME again!!

This year I will focus on my body again. I will get my run on daily. (training for a half marathon now) I will read way more. I will scrap way more. I will get things done when I WANT to and not when I feel pressured to. If I can't please someone or get something done for someone else, I will say NO and I will be okay with that. I will go back to being the person that I used to be. Yes, that person offended some people and some people didn't totally like her, but, I did and everyone important to me did. I am going back to that. The people that I was trying to please by changing have since been weeded out of my life. Yes, I did some gardening. So, it is perfectly fine to be ME again. I will pray and grow my relationship with God even more. I will do it according to what HE wants and not what is told to me by others. I will rekindle all of those important relationships in my life. I will nurture my marriage and my relationships with my family and friends. I will SLOW DOWN. I will get more pedicures and manicures even when I don't need them, just because I WANT them. I will be crazy, silly me. I will be loud and sing often! I will document my life as much as possible through my journal. (goal is to write at least one sentence a day!) I will sleep late even when there are a million things to do. I will focus on ME ME ME! I will make ME happy!

I have to have My One Little Word be: ME! I have to regain my sanity and my inner peace!

So far, these past two days, I have done everything that I have promised myself and these two days have been literally AMAZING. I just feel so released and at peace. Anyways, now that I sound ridiculous, I am going to get off of this soap box.

I hope that you are as pumped about this year as I am. Please keep visiting because I am hoping to keep this blog up more!

Much love peeps!
ASh

I'm getting a bit too personal!

Wow! I haven't posted on here in a while. I have been focusing so much on the store's blog. However, i have had tons on my mind the last week and I just needa vent. What better place to share my most personal feelings than the world wide web, right?

As you all know, life has been so outta control crazee lately. I opened the store about 6 weeks ago, Shane and I bought a house about 3 weeks ago, we will close on the house in about 3 weeks and we will be getting married in 5 weeks. I have definately definately taken on too much.

I feel like things are so completely outta control right now. If anyone knows me, I do not like NOT having control. I know that God has done all that he is doing to me right now to teach me and mold me into the person that he wants me to be. But, it is not the easiest process to say the least. I am not complaining about everything, okay maybe I am a little, but i know that all that is happening is all blessings. I know that these life changes are good ones. Still, it is hard and overwhelming and confusing and causing me to feel so many emotions that I didn't even know existed.

I am thinking of all of the regrets that I have with relationships near and dear to me. I am thinking of the influence that my parents have had over me during this life of mine. I am hoping that they are proud. I am hoping that they are ready to give me away. I am hoping that they can hold it together. I am hoping that I can hold it together. I am thinking how much I will miss the life of being their baby girl. Now, I am becoming someone else's. I am thinking of my baby bros. I am remembering all of those nights all three cuddled up in bed together watching movies. I am remembering all of the Christmas mornings and Christmas Eve nights. I am thinking that I am not ready to say good bye to all of that. I am thinking of my brothers' wives and who God has waiting for them. Wondering/Praying that it will be as amazing as what i have with Shane.

I am thinking of this guy, my best friend, who I will soon be married to. Thinking of the ups and downs, and all the way arounds. I keep thinking of what I'll say to him at the altar. I keep thinking that I want to be a spiritual, godly wife. I want to be able to take care of him, support him, and love him even half as much as he has for me. I am thinking that I don't want to make any mistakes whatsoever in our marriage. I know that is unrealistic but I do not want to screw things up.

I am thinking about God. I am thinking about my relationship with God, where I have been, where I will go, where I am now (not happy about that place). I am thinking about how badly I wanted to perfect my relationship with God before my wedding. I am thinking about how I wanted it to be at its strongest place before I was married. I know that that is definately not the case. My relationship with the Big Man needs a lil work, to say the least. But, God does know my heart and I know he knows I yearn for his presence and will in my life.

I am thinking about my friends. God those people. I am thinking that I don't want anything to change between us just because I am married. I am thinking how much they have been there for me since the age of 5 and this year especially. Thinking of the old days and that I will never be that single girl again. Thinking of those people who have shaped me and supported me and loved me no matter what.

I am thinking of the wedding. God i hope it's perfect. It feels like so much blood, heart, sweat, and tears has gone into this day. I want it to be filled with personal touches. I want people to leave taking a little piece of me and Shane with them. I want people to dance and have a good ole time. I want people to see just how much we love each other.

I just want to get through the next 5 weeks without falling to pieces. I just want to do it all right. I just don't want to mess things up. I want to hold it all together. I want it all to be perfect, no regrets. I also wanna soak it up and remember it because I will never get it back and after this part of my life, I will never be the same.

Sorry for the rambling. I hate that I got so personal but I just needed to get it out! I am blessed and I thank the Lord for all that he is giving me.

Happy Saturday!
ash

sooo busy!

Well, as you all know, I am opening a scrapbook store in one week....like seven days...like not very long. I have been so busy. Life has been complete chaos. Even though i like my life in complete chaos, i am actually looking forward to getting back into a rountine. When I tell you that there has been no routine, i mean NO ROUTINE! My days and nights are mixed up, i'm always so tired, my eating habits, while healthy, are quite off schedule too, i have not been on a normal workout routine, and i could go on and on. Please note that I am not at all complaining...i'm just telling you a lil about this life of mine right now.

In other news, I am in desperate and i mean desperate need of a 6am run. I know..i know...it sounds stupid and crazy but it is so true. I need a run right when the sun is rising...a run outside on the good ole blacktop so i can sweat like a pig...a run where it's just me and the ipod...a run where i can clear my head and release some good ole endorphines. I just need a 6am run and I think that i will go for one tomorrow morning!


I am super excited to mention...and you darn right i'm mentioning it because i'm proud of myself..that i have lost 8 pounds. Now, you can't really tell from looking at me but I have. I have been doing weight watchers and sticking to it and when I weighed myself on Sunday i was down 3 more pounds which makes 8 in the last three weeks. Yahooooo! I'm super pumped..now, if i could just get back on some sort of running schedule.

I have the kids tomorrow. I know I should be here at the store working with only 6days till we open, but, Kasi called and I had to say yes. I really wanna see them and I really just wanna spend some quality time with the little munchkins...it's been a while.

I have been at the store constantly and I am so nervous about the grand opening. I have worked so hard and I want it to be a success so badly. I hope it is perfect and everyone comes in and shops and has a great time.

Well, I do realize this post was a lil skitzo-frenic (yes i know that's not the correct spelling but who cares)! Just wanted to post to my own personal blog. Make sure ya'll check the store's blog too! www.inspirescrapboutique.blogspot.com

Talk to you guys as soon as i can!
Ash

One more thing!

Hello People! Today was definately a great day. With everything going on right now I have literally been doing NOTHING for the wedding. Last week, while working in the new store, two of my friends/bridesmaids questioned me about all that was left to do for the wedding. We started to write a list and let me tell you, i was near a nervous breakdown when we were done. I have literally done nothing. i mean NOTHING. They immediately laid down the law to me. They were like, Ash, you have to, we mean HAVE TO, do wedding stuff. You are getting married in 3 months (Can you even believe?). So, last week I really decided that any extra minute i had in between the store and when my eyes shut for the night/morning, I had to get some stuff done. Since last week I must say, I have done really well and I got tons accomplished. And, today, drumroll please.....i found a florist. Yea I know you might not think that's too great because I waited so late to do it, but, the flowers are one of the most important parts to me and I have been picky about florists. No one has really fit up until now and I found someone that I really like. She has amazing ideas and she is totally on the same page as me. I am so excited. My bridesmaids will be so proud. And, speaking of bridesmaids...mine are AH-MAZING let me repeat that, AH-MAZING. My mom and my bridesmaids have been so involved and soooooo soooo helpful and supportive. They even had a little secret (not so secret since i know about it) meeting last night to plan my bridal shower. They don't want me to have to worry about it at all. I mean seriously they are so great. They have really made me see why I have surrounded myself with only the people that I can trust and that I know love me for me. God I am so thankful for them, you just don't know. Anyways, I am definately rambling so I am getting off and actually going to bed. Shane told me it was forbidden that I stay at the store late. He told me to get home and get a good night's sleep. That is what I will do. I have a long day tomorrow and a huge order coming in. Mrs. Jenni Bowlin's products will be here tomorrow! EEk! I'm so thrilled. Okay guys, night! I will leave you with a pretty little pic to celebrate the new florist. Yay!

Talk to you soon, hopefully!
Ash